65

So, today’s real story happens at the end, where I describe the WOD. It’s good stuff, Maynard.


Thanks to Kettlebell Rob for the photo of the stone.

Breakfast:
[7:30]
3 ozs leftover T-Bone with mushrooms, onions, and an egg
coffee + almond milk

Lunch:
[12:30]
Holy cow was I hungry today (see the explanation below, where I talk about today’s WOD).
5 leftover coconut shrimp
1/2 C leftover chicken salad
1 hard boiled egg
1 apple and one teaspoon almond butter

(I hoovered this down and was STILL FEELING HUNGRY when I went back to work.)

Snack:
[1:45]
EXHAUSTION!!! Walked to the bookstore to get a second cup of coffee so I could make it through class. The walk to the bookstore, which is only in the next building over, nearly ruined me. My legs were trashed.

2:00 Class: Normally I pace in class. I move constantly, invade my students’ desk space, and jump around a lot as I write on the white board. I am an animated teacher. But today? I SAT DOWN. My students asked if I was feeling OK. I told them I was fine, but that I just needed to sit for a minute. (I did eventually get up. Eventually.)

Snack:
[4:30]

3 choco-coco-cranberry cookies (Thanks to Colbey for the great name! Recipe forthcoming; still a cheat but with reduced cheat-y-ness.)
1/4 C sunflower seeds

Dinner:
[7:30]

Kelly’s Sausage with Kale and Tomatoes, with spinach substituted for the kale

Recipe shamelessly stolen from the CFY Nutrition Quest Facebook Page:
1 lb fresh sausage (hot or mild) [Mine is pork sausage from the butcher. Deeelish.]
1 whole bag of baby spinach
1 large can of diced tomatoes with basil

In large saucepan cook sausage. Drain excess oil. Add tomatoes and simmer for 10 minutes. Add spinach. Cook 3-5 more minutes, until it’s wilted to your liking. Then hoover it up. This is an amazingly easy and amazingly delicious dish. So sad I didn’t try it earlier!

WOD:
FIRST: 12 minutes of 2 reps each minute deadlift @ 80% of your 1 rep max. I did 185#*. However, this felt VERY EASY. I toyed with asking to add weight to the bar after the first 2 or so rounds, but I kept my mouth shut.**

THEN: 12 minutes of 2 reps each minute atlas stone squats. This movement involves a concrete stone, which you hoist into your lap and then roll onto your shoulder. Then, you squat with the damn thing “resting” on your shoulder. So, I began using the 73#ish stone, and it was hard. Apparently it wasn’t not hard enough, though, because Rusty got that look on his face — it’s a cross between curiosity and mischief (y’all CFYork people know what I’m talking about) — and he said, “Why don’t you try the 95#?”

I cannot NOT try. So I do. And I actually get the damn thing up onto my shoulder. And then I squat… and holy good gravy I nearly cannot stand up, but I do. Not only did it take all my effort to stand — it took all my other effort (where it came from, I don’t know. God, probably) to not shit myself.

So I think *whew* — 2 bullets dodged: 1) I didn’t disappoint Rusty, and 2) I didn’t crap all over myself. So I begin to mosey back over to the 73# stone…

But no-ooo. Rusty says, “Hey, you gotta do the other side.” Which means I have to lift the stone and squat with it on my opposite shoulder, to even things out.

Oh my god, I think. I’m totally going to die. Or shit. And really, I’d rather die than shit.

But somehow I made it. I completed a few more rounds of the 95, alternating with the 73 (which felt LIGHT after that stupid 95# mother).

At the end of the second 12 minutes, I climbed onto the GHD machine and practiced my new technique. 50 GHDs later, the totality of the day’s WOD began to creep up onto me. I stood like a zombie, watching poor Meghan and Kelsey do about a million burpees, but I wasn’t really watching them or seeing, like, anything. Zombie.

I wandered out to the truck and drove home. Called Brian for his “Happy Lunch Break!” greeting. Showered. Well, I stood in the shower and willed my arms to move. And then, I ate everything in the house. (See above lunch menu.)

The morals of this story? 1) Rusty’s programming is brilliant. 2) Never never never think a CrossFit WOD is going to be easy.

*185# is not 80% of my 1 rep max (that would have been 172# = 215 X .8). I only checked when I got home because I was curious.

**I didn’t want to seem like a dude-bitch talking shit about something being “too light.” And hoo-boy am I glad I kept my mouth shut.

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2 thoughts on “65

  1. I’m sitting here at accordion lessons and these other parents must think I’m completely nuts. I am CRACKING UP LAUGHING! Shitting and/or farting at the box would be a certain death. For all the inappropriate things I may verbalizing, I would just about die if my butt started to verbalize! Great job on the Atlas stone, I found it a chore trying to get it over my boobs. See, there’s one point for the minimal boob theory!

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