more disdain for moms

Mom 101, who I’m getting re-acquainted with for some dissertation stuff, posts today about someone expressing direct disdain for her as she struggles to kid-wrangle in a public space.

I am always continually amazed at how people thinks it’s OK to be rude to mothers. A new site from Eden Kennedy and Alice Bradley, called Let’s Panic, notes on the about us page that people lose their social skills around mothers even before the baby is born: When you are pregnant, “Strangers manhandle your delicate, misshapen belly or point, chuckling, as you waddle past.” Why is it that when you have kids, simple social ettiquette no longer applies to you? Are children so indecent that common human decency must be relinquished by those who choose to have them?*

*Must find the citation — I think that Bitch PhD made the argument once, and it was compelling to me, anyway, that the choice is in NOT having children.

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4 thoughts on “more disdain for moms

  1. I could never figure out why people think it’s okay to touch a pregnant woman’s belly without being invited to do so. Of course, people think it’s okay to touch women in general without asking permission, so perhaps belly-groping should surprise us.

    I don’t agree with Bitch PhD’s assertion that NOT having children is the choice (versus the other way around). I think that her statement, and its inverse, are both too broad. For some women, both having and not having would be a legitimate choice. For other women, there’s probably NOT a choice at all.

    What I’ve found most compelling in discussions of motherhood are those that center on critiques of the nuclear family (ex., Shulamith Firestone). I do think that dismantling the nuclear family structure would help to ease gender oppression (by which I mean oppression of all women, including — or maybe most especially — mothers). It would be a radical departure from the way we’ve organized our society today.

  2. (Typical for me): If you’re doing what you want to do, who gives a shit what anyone thinks? Inappropriate behavior will always annoy us if we’re looking for an excuse to be annoyed. Remembering that people who don’t know how to act are then acting from a place of some kind of fear makes it easier to let it go. Bless them and move on rather than generating more negative energy about it.

  3. what? you mean, i’m allowed to fondle preggers i don’t even know? sweet!!!
    for real doe, some people are just plain unhappy and therefore rude to anyone – the little ones tend to bring it out more so (jealousy due to loss of innocence.)
    its sad really. but you know it always makes you feel better to punch them in the face (or hit ’em with your car – assholes are 20 points). anyway, give ’em something to cry about! they want you to.

  4. Well, if a Mom is hitting a kid on the head with a bat, I have to step in and say something. Or if the kid is cussing out the Mom, I’m going to head into the war zone and defend Mom. Otherwise, I’m too busy with my own to worry! Good point, though!

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