single-minded

After about two weeks of hand-wringing, despairing the hollow pain in my throat and neck, and tossing through sleepless nights, I’ve finally found a groove in making some major revisions to my dissertation.

It’s been physically painful, these past weeks, sitting at the computer with a stack of printed chapters at my right. I’d stare from the stack of paper to my computer screen…*blink blink* a couple times, and have absolutely no idea where to start. The introduction needed complete tear down and re-build. But I couldn’t really re-write the intro before I made major changes to nearly every chapter. But I couldn’t make any major changes to any of the chapters without having a better idea of how those changes would affect the overall project…and so I needed a good introduction to tell me what the overall project would look like so I could make the changes to the chapters.

*blink blink*

And I apologize to all of you who could give two shits about my writing process. I imagine it’s boring as hell to listen to me ramble, in the abstract no less, about an esoteric project. But it is all-consuming for me. Which brings me to the title of this post: when I am in a writing space as productive as this, the sacrifices are fairly significant. The boys didn’t eat lunch today until 2:30. And all they did before and after lunch was WATCH TV. Thank god for the Cartoon Network. I have not showered today. The dishes, laundry, and bathrooms all need attention. I’m ignoring the phone and most email. I have not run in 6 days, and the marathon that I’m ostensibly training for in October will probably be another killer like Albany was for me last October: I’ll start out on the freshest legs I’ve ever had (because I won’t have run in weeks), feel great until mile 13, and then I’ll want to throw myself into the bushes with the cow patties for the balance of the race.

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5 thoughts on “single-minded

  1. Wait! Wait! You’re describing ME! Except that I don’t have those two lovely boys. Nor the 13-mile legs. But everything else? So glad to know other writers suffer similarly. Ain’t it great?

  2. It is great. Honestly. My poor family suffers in a way that’s good for them (need a dish for cereal? then WASH ONE! AMAZING CONCEPT!), and I get work done.

    It’s just a shame that *I* have to suffer such damning writer’s block before my brain can start flowing again. *sigh*

  3. Damned right that your family is “suffering” in a way that is good for them – you’re teaching them to be self sufficient and independent. You’re modeling perseverance, a strong work ethic and the value of education. The dishes, laundry and bathrooms (and dare I say it – even the RUNNING) can all wait.

    You can do this. I have 100% faith in your ability to produce and defend a stellar, extraordinary diss.

    Hang in there.

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