As the smartest person I know told me on Friday when I drove to campus to turn in the last exam,
I’m dun. D-U-N, dun.
So, we left campus. I had all my crazy kids with me, and for whatever reason, it was all I could do to keep from crying as I walked away from the building.
And really, I’m not done. I still have to actually PASS.
So as we get into the car, the kids are hungry and begging for burgers. They plead for McDonald’s, and I acquiesce, simply because it’s been for damn ever since they’ve had some nice greasy cheeseburgers and played some DDR.
We get our artery-clogging meal and we eat, and I’m beginning to feel a little better. I’m sitting at a table, not reading a damn thing, and watching the kids go up through the human-sized hamster tubes and coming down the slide.
Until Jack comes down the slide one last time and says to me: “Mom, I think someone pooped in the slide.”
I pause, not really thinking he could be serious. Thinking someone probably farted, or some baby had a diaper full, but not thinking that someone actually left turds in the hamster tube.
But nooooohooo. Some kid HAD ACTUALLY SHIT in the slide, and both my boys ended up with someone else’s crap all over their shorts.
OH MY GOD. It was the most disgusting thing I’ve EVER had to deal with. Since is Josh full-fledged potty trained, I do not carry a diaper bag or a change of clothes for ANY CHILD anymore. I had nothing to put on either of them.
The rest of the story is a blur. I know I ended up throwing Josh’s shorts and socks in the trash in the bathroom, and I stripped Jack down in the parking lot before he got in the car. Jack was especially traumatized, and gets VERY upset when I recount the story for anyone.
So the day I finished my exams ended up being, all in all, NOT relaxing at all.
We came home and I hosed the boys down in the driveway. Then I went inside and lay on the couch and watched _The People’s Court_.