how do you know my mom’s in town?

1a. There’s a short grey-haired woman in pig tails playing monster badminton in my back yard.

1b. There’s a short grey-haired woman in pig tails playing spider solitaire in the office.

1c. There’s a short grey-haired woman trying to talk me into getting my nose pierced *like SHE did*!!

2. I’m cooking all the goodest food I can come up with for dinner, because there is someone in my house that I can share it with. So far I’ve made some spicy gumbo, salmon croquettes, and tonight was shrimp curry with fried tofu. Can you say gastronomic big O?

3. My brother starts coming around (which means more people to share my goodest food with!).

4. We do a lot of thrift store hopping.

5. The guitars come out. We play show and tell, playing and talking through new songs we’ve learned since we’ve seen each other last. I was poorly prepared; teaching and reading have only given me time to learn two new songs. And she wins for figuring out a new Counting Crows song (“Accidentally in Love”). The Indigo Girls’ songbook comes out. We stumble through a few we don’t know but should.

6. All the kids in my house are walking around with knitting needles. What the hell is she thinking, giving my 6-year-old boy POINTED STICKS??!! So far all the eyes in my house remain intact. So far.

7. When we answer the phone, people think she’s me, and I’m her.

8. The rafters and footers shake all night with her signature snore (how can such a cute woman in pigtails SNORE with such force??).

9. When the kids get too loud, neighbors hear a woman, who sounds much like me, hollering over the top of the din for them to “QUIT MAKING SO MUCH NOISE!!” Um, Mom? Quit making so much noise. 🙂

10. My husband hides upstairs and gets more work done on the second floor remodel in one week than he has in the past year.


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