I’ll go if you go

A phone call:

Me: Hello?

Neighbor D: Hiya. It’s dark. And cold. And it’s supposed to snow.

Me: I’ll go if you go.

She: Ok. Give me a half hour.

In a half hour, a strange beast shows up on my backdoorstep. She has a ski mask, covered by two hoods. Her glasses poke forth, but it is the only part of her face showing. She wears an orange reflective vest over her many layers. On her feet she wears orange neon yaktrax.

I’m pulling on my own, which are neon yellow. I don an equally scary-looking ski mask and equally geeky reflective vest and we venture out.

It’s 630 pm, and the thermometer reads 22 F. A snow/sleet mix falls, and the wind periodically blows it into our faces, which elicits a chorus of “Ow! OW! OW!” from us, as it feels like we’re being stabbed by mini icicles.

We loop the village, dodging the one or two cars that are out on the unplowed roads. We get a couple honks, and we imagine the rude and derisive comments drivers are making about us.

“Wacko runners.”

“Damn crazy freak-ass Parish runners.”

“Those people have lost their senses, clearly. Do they not see the BLIZZARD??”


The short three miles fortifies us, though. It proves that the elements are no match for us.

This morning: snow days all around. The snow continues to fall. The plows are unable to keep up so far.

I’m waiting for the phone to ring.


7 thoughts on “I’ll go if you go

  1. impressive, yet scary.
    devoted, yet obsessive.
    healthy, yet sick.

    course, I’m extremely happy to be snowed in, but if I’m out of m&ms, I may venture out in just about anything, so I can relate.

  2. But see, I understand braving the elements if I really *need* something (like chocolate), but not just for the sake of torturing my body. I’m not saying this is a good thing. It’s just how I am.

  3. Are you running in the tire tracks left by cars? I ask because I’ve been motoring around S’cuse this morning, astounded by the frequency with which pedestrians casually step into traffic to avoid the snow-covered sidewalks. Maxing out my nervousness, I need a blowhorn on top the Element cycling on a loop of “Yo, pedestrians, snow in the roads is treacherous; snow *and* relatively unshielded people in the roads, double-treacherous (religous-making treacherous).”

  4. Actually, Derek, we run on the “shoulder” b/c round these parts there is no sidewalk.

    And last night, there weren’t even tire tracks to run in, either.

    Believe me, Deb and I have jumped into our share of snowbanks to avoid plows and other less-nervous drivers.

    Point taken, though. We are less than smart at times, certainly. But it was FUN. 🙂

  5. Ya. I wasn’t meaning to chide the runners (I really could use a jog or two over break!). Just noticed lots of folks walking in the streets today and found it odd that they did it so casually, so sure that my brakes, cat-like reflexes and roadslop-gripping tires would intervene. Least the snow’s soft if anybody has to bail into it, I figure. But then I’m more often that one on foot than the one running all the walkers/runners into the banks along the street.

  6. Derek, those pedestrians are probably all from the NY metro area, whence all pedestrians walk as crazy as the drivers drive. Which is way crazy. I, who waits for the “walk” signal, am considered whacko.

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