and that’s…the rest of the story

What you do is this:

Like a flash, you SHOVE the baby with your knee/thigh, so that instead of falling off the bed onto the floor, he is vaulted several inches so that he lands on a rolling office chair adjacent to the bed.

In lifting your outside leg to push the baby, you’ve also effectively slid the laptop AWAY from the edge of the bed.

You realize afterwards that this was probably the dumbest action you could’ve taken, since you relied on a CHAIR ON WHEELS to remain steady and catch the baby.

You realize that you could not have conceived of nor coordinated that feat with any forethought.

You realize that you haven’t backed up any of your work on this fragile machine.

You realize that if you try to explain it to anyone, they’ll think you’re lying.

You are NOT making this up.

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3 thoughts on “and that’s…the rest of the story

  1. I realize that it’s a writing thing, but you’re in the second person, and talking about what YOU did. Does using the first person somehow devalue what has taken place? Do you feel somehow removed from the situation if you don’t say “I” did this or that? I’m reminded of a situation where someone talked of herself in the third person. This is another projection of some sort. What do either of these accomplish?

  2. Well, Mom, since I set up the original dilemma as “what would YOU do if this happened to you,” I figured I would simply tell everyone what THEY DID do.

    Moral dilemma #2:
    Your mom reads your blog. She tends to be, uh, strangely hostile to your posts. Do you:

    1. Ignore her comments.

    2. Delete her comments.

    3. Move the blog and don’t give her the fwd URL.

    4. Quit blogging. She’ll just find you anyway and continue to misunderstand and ask “What does this accomplish??”

    5. What the hell are you doing? She’s gonna read this comment and call you to make sure you understand that she wasn’t being hostile, merely pointing out issues of voice! She’ll keep you on the phone for HOURS massaging you with fine-grained guilt and ask where her non-critical, non-toxic daughter went. Can’t it JUST BE FUNNY, MOM?

    6. Dooce would tell her mom to SUCK IT.

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