1. It’s 4:01 and I’m still in the sweatshirt and pants I slept in. I would admit to not even brushing my teeth yet, but I won’t.
2. Monster toddler turns off computer as I’m working on methods essay.
3. Monster toddler climbs on the curtains as I attempt to hem them, breaking the last sewing machine needle I have.
4. Monster toddler takes nap long enough for me read 3 blogs from aggregator (+/- 10 mins).
5. Monster toddler gleefully grabs and flings piles of laundry as I fold it.
6. Each trip to the kitchen finds me leaving with food (grapes, brownies, grasshoppers, pbf, left over chicken stew…I swear I’ve eaten lunch 4 times over today).
7. Lovely pre-schooler watches Land Before Time (#11 Invasion of the TinySauruses) a third time; he WOULD be better off a someone else’s house! If only the Monster toddler would take an interest in TV!
8. I start wishing for a 9-5 corporate gig that requires that I wear pantyhose, high heels and manicured fingernails; surely my self-worth would skyrocket by leaps and bounds. Surely my conversations at the water cooler would be more stimulating than: "No!" "Hot!" "Don’t touch!" "Yucky!" "Uh-oh!" "Yes, Kitty Cat. Stinky kitty cat."